My Grandma (my Mom's Mom and my last living, biological Grandparent) has been getting sicker and sicker. She kept getting infections and the Doctor's were having a hard time getting her the right medicines that she needed. This caused her to get weaker and weaker until they declared that they didn't think she would live much longer-- days or weeks. They encouraged family to come and visit and say goodbye.
I have had a pretty close relationship with my Grandma. We have had family reunions almost every year since I was about 16 and before that we would go there every summer for a week or two and about every other Christmas. Plus my Mom is super close to her Mom, and I am super close to my Mom.
Well, we happened to be driving that way already for my nephew's baptism, so we stopped by (otherwise, we would've made a special trip.) Grant kept asking me if I was worried or upset about it. I really didn't think I was. She has lived a good life and is over 90 years old. Plus she isn't able to be her vibrant, active, independent self (the sicknesses have weakened her to the point that she cannot walk and has difficulty speaking.) I knew that in her current condition, it would be difficult for those closest to her to take care of her and that it would be hard for her to let them, since she is so independent. (Often, over the years, when we offered to do things for her, she would insist on doing things herself, telling us that someday she wouldn't be able to.) I also knew that it was going to be really hard on my Mom and my Aunt (and their brothers) to say goodbye to their Mom. (Isn't it hard to lose your Mom, no matter when she dies?) On the other hand, she has been without her husband for 16 years! (My Dad's parents died 14 and 15 years ago.) Her son, Wayne, died unexpectantly 2 years ago, and her daughter, Alaine (who had Down Syndrome), passed away last year. I know it will be a joyous occasion when she is reunited with them, especially to see Alaine's beautiful spirit, without the limitations of her body.
Well, I wasn't really prepared for how hard it was. It was hard to see her physical body in such a weak condition. She looked so different. She struggled to speak and was only able to whisper a few words at a time.
My thoughtful sister-in-law, Mandy, had the idea to have our kids sing the song they sang for the baptism, for Grandma. She loved watching her Great-Grandchildren sing to her. She has always loved music. Then we talked about how many descendants she has. She now has 7 children, 30 grandchildren, and over 80 great-grandchildren (even 5 more on the way.) Then she asked, "Do you think we'll make it to 100?" We reassured her that we would make it way over 100, as she still has several grandchildren who haven't even started having kids, and a few who haven't finished. Then we all talked about lots of things, while she listened. My brother, Chris, and his whole family, my parents, youngest brother Joe, my Aunt Luetta, and my cousin Monica and her family were there, while I was there. After Chris and his family left, Chris said his goodbyes and then left, then Mandy hugged my Grandma and right after she left, my Grandma faintly whispered, "We sure have some pretty people in this family." Monica and I said, "We get it from our Grandma... that and we choose good looking spouses." :) We talked for a while longer and then she seemed like she wanted to say something, however couldn't really communicate to us what it was. We asked several things and finally when we asked if she was hungry, she said yes. We said we would get her some food and she replied, in her fiesty little voice, "It's about time!" Monica and I just laughed and laughed. It was seriously hilarious!! She has always had a great sense of humor.
After I pulled myself together, I went to talk to my Aunt Luetta, to say goodbye to her. (She isn't normally an emotional person but my Mom had told me that when she got there to help, Luetta had become emotional and told her that she wasn't ready for all this.) After I hugged my Aunt, she told me that right before we got there, Grandma was given a blessing where her sons and my brother, Chris, (I think Scott gave the blessing) told her that she had accomplished everything she came to this Earth to accomplish and that it was up to her how long she stayed. Luetta started crying when she told me this and it totally made me cry all over again.
It was really hard to say goodbye to my Grandma, knowing that I may not see her again in this life. However, I feel extremely blessed to have had her influence in my life. She is such a strong woman and a great example to me of staying strong in her faith and how that can affect generations to come. She has raised a very righteous posterity. Even if she only affected her own posterity, she has already affected 120+ people. Through our reunions and our visits, she has shared her strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ with me and her love and devotion to her family members. (I was really touched by my Mom's recent email which explained that my Grandma has been struggling to even have the energy to eat, however somehow she always works up the strength and energy to spend time with each family member that comes to visit her.)
(PS- I'm posting this a month later and am very happy to say that she is doing better. She still hasn't been able to get out of bed, however she definitely has the desire to do so. Hopefully, she will be able to soon.)
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